Friday morning was the start of my Internet Fast. Friday night we went to the county fair and saw a billion random things I wanted to post and comment and look up and generally share with the world but I couldn’t post/share/comment because I was an idiot and put myself on the aforementioned Internet Fast. Therefore, all the wonders of the fair had to be experienced in real time without input from random friends and family and strangers I’ve never met. I actually had to like something and feel something without waiting to know if my liking that thing or having feelings for that other thing were valued by others. Weird. Who lives like that? But I have this blog so here are a few things I found absolutely fascinating and days later, I still find awesome.
I don’t do roller coasters and I for sure don't do fair roller coasters.
I have loads more pictures but this post is going to be long so I'll save them for another day. Besides, without the smell, a picture of chicken or a pig is just another picture of a chicken or a pig. We spent a few moments watching the crazy kids on the roller coasters, tut tutting at their stupidity, and then we headed into the animal barns. Now, in Kenya, we had cows and geese on our “farm.” More specifically, we had a nice cow that had a stupid baby bull that ate my school tights off the laundry line and geese that were mean and chased me all over the yard. Those evil geese are the reason I cannot do a handstand or a cartwheel. I was too afraid I’d be attacked in mid-wheel while there was no doubt that no matter where I put my hand down, it was sure to land in geese poop. We had these animals but we never took them to a fair and showed them off. I never had to lead the cow, Thamu, around in a circle and get her to stand patiently while folks looked her over. In Kenya, the cows were used for milk or for ceremony or dinner or terrifying small children like me but never for show and tell. But at this fair, they have show and tell contests with ribbons and pageantry. It’s totally like the book Charlotte’s Web – my only real county fair experience until now. They even wash the animals down – though I did not see any buttermilk - and get them brushed and shiny before parading them around a ring with folks watching. There was even a mama pig and babies AND a runt like Wilber. I was so excited to see everything, I actually squealed a little. Though I did get a bit too invested in Wilber getting trampled by his brothers and sisters and not getting a teat. I might have cried a little and tried to figure out how to get the poor thing out of the stall and into my purse. Husband might have had to pull me away and shut that dream down. Poor pig. I would have been a fabulous Fern. After a quick wander through the stalls, we headed over to the show ring where children were showing their cows. Cows are big, folks. Really, really big. And some cows take offense to being a show and tell contestant. One cow decided she was having none of the whole cow beauty pageant. First, Cow refused to move in the direction she was supposed to. Then Cow decided to leave the show ring, dragging the poor twelve-year old girl along with her. But not before Cow took offense to the smaller prettier cow behind her and head butted her hard almost knocking the very small, maybe eight year old boy over. The poor twelve-year old girl started to cry and I started to cry with her. So many hopes and dreams of hers were locked up in the damn cow and she could see them butted down the drain. This was better than Lifetime TV, folks. The drama. The intrigue. The trash talk. The smell. Unlike the hot mess I would have been in this situation, when a grown-up gave Cow back to her, the poor twelve-year-old girl actually stayed with Cow holding tight, tears still streaming down her face. She even stayed and tried to hold on as Cow tried leaving the ring a second and third time and forth time. That girl has cojones I do not have. Or should I say cow-jones. We then wandered through the big show room of prizewinning corn and quilts and ham and every tractor a child might want to play with. One kid sat in the cab of a massive digger and made driving noises while trying to work the gears. And yes, that was Husband. Random observation: every other booth at the fair was a chiropractor. Not really exaggerating here – every other booth. Over stimulated and hungry, we went and ate our way through food alley - after disinfecting our hands repeatedly from all the touching of animals and things of course. Apparently, you can deep-fry anything and people will pay to eat it. We tried the deep fried pie. We did not try the deep-fried mushrooms or deep-fried Oreos or deep-fried turkey leg. My heart is probably thankful for that although my mouth is regretting missing out on the Oreos. I am curious to know if they use the same oil for all things deep-fried? I am concerned that they might. I am no longer regretting missing out on the deep-fried Oreos. We finished up the night with some dancing. Well, I danced and my girl friend danced and our partners sat and watched us while wincing and trying to pretend that we weren’t together. That’s the best kind of dancing, by the way, the kind that makes people look away or watch in horror. That’s the only kind I do. It was a fabulous night and a thoroughly entertaining experience. One I’d surely do again. Hopefully next time, I won’t cry at the cow beauty pageant or when Wilber can’t get a teat but odds are good that I will.
4 Comments
Sara Bolton
8/4/2014 11:19:56 pm
Geese are sooo mean! We had geese at the place I worked at people use geese like they use guard dogs.... they are twice as bad if they are a mating pair. I hope the little girl knows how strong she is for staying in the game with that cow!
Reply
ej
8/4/2014 11:55:12 pm
Sara - RIGHT?!? Those suckers scared the pants off me. To this day, when I see a goose, I run in the other direction!
Reply
ej
8/6/2014 12:30:58 am
The dancing was awesome. The fact that Husband is STILL embarrassed is even more awesome.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
Categories
All
|