I woke up to a helicopter hovering over the house. A helicopter sounds just like a lawnmower or a blower or something else I would cuss out my neighbor for using at 5am in the morning. But The Mayor of Our Street wasn’t responsible for this one. Someone ran into a treeing front of Neighbor Dentist's house and the tree won. In trying to figure out what was happening, I planted myself down in front of the TV to watch the ‘breaking news.’ Suddenly what went wrong was more important than my morning writing. Once I knew what when wrong, I could be sure to avoid doing that, right? Although, the reality is that I will likely use this to add to my fears of an early death or Husband’s early death or Mom’s early death and I just use this to plan accordingly. (As I open a browser to Kelly’s Blue Book to find out the how much I can sell Husband’s car for…)
Anyway, I turned on the TV to find out what went wrong and didn’t because they had nothing but a picture of the crash. But I kept watching, through the weather and the traffic and the weather and the traffic and a recap of the shooting and the car crash and the weather and the traffic and then that section of “News” ended and I was suddenly in the morning show loop. My mornings usually start with me writing before I spend way too much time looking at the news online. The news online is easy to walk away from. The TV sucks you in. There are pictures. There is video and I am invariably in tears by the end of the brief snap of information and I cannot walk away. The world is an absolute mess. Everyone hates everyone. Everyone’s cause is righter than everyone else’s cause. There are mean people and dying people and angry people and stupid people. And I honesty don’t know how I’m going to get off this couch and move about my day. I don’t know why we bother getting up in the morning. The expression “Can’t see the forest for the trees.” I honestly can’t even see the wood of trees right now. They are all on fire with the unpleasantness that we humans can and are doing to each other… Sorry. Dark place. I know you all make fun of my very obvious owl obsession. But when I stand outside and look at our forest and spot those eyes looking back at me through the branches and the leaves, I can breathe again. That small focus can make the other stuff, the awful asshats that are running and ruining this world, disappear. If you want me today, I’ll be standing outside staring, trying to see the feathers in the trees. It’s a much better view than the one on TV. Or the one in my head
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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