Well, I’ve just spent 20minutes looking for the sucker and nothing. I have, however, found the Christmas cards, the congratulations cards and the nephew birthday cards. It’s now 8am and too early for me to go out and rustle one up – mostly because I’m not dressed. And too late to win the guilt war because I know Husband bought one last night when he went the grocery store for his throat lozenges. Ugh.
I do, however, have an awesome and inappropriate gift for him that might trump the lack of card. I can’t tell you all about it until he opens it but it’s rude - when you consider that my friend gave her Husband a very pricy watch and he gave her something that sparkles with every gesticulating statement.
One thing they don’t tell you about marriage but gift giving can be a battle of who did it best. Someone is always disappointed by someone else’s amusement. We’ve been married for nine years, our game is now more amusing than the actual gifts. We’ve always had a non-traditional marriage so this ongoing battle of awesomeness just adds to the wonder.
A co-worker is getting married in less than two weeks and her head looks like it’s about to explode at all times. Every time I see someone in that state of emotional self-inflicted pain, I am so glad we eloped. I’m so glad that my wedding pictures were taken with Husbands arm stretched out the window of the car we were in, the drive-thru wedding window clearly seen in the background. I’m glad I have no idea where the outfit is I wore to the wedding but it was a pair of jeans and a white shirt so it doesn‘t matter. I’m glad that our respective families didn’t have to have weird forced dinners that they resented paying for – that happened later. I’m glad that the day was just about our awkward love affair and that now, and us we’re a story our friends tell. And I’m glad that we’re still married – though sometimes it has been a bizarre roller coaster of OCD and emotional maintenance.
SO Husband came in and presented me with my card while I was writing this. And told me that my gift is a weekend away at the beach when we’re both feeling better. I yelled at him that he should have opened my gift first because a pedestal stand for iPad with a toilet paper roll holder and a book about What Your Poo is Telling You - yes, thats what I got him - is not as awesome as a weekend at the beach but it was too late. He has won this gift giving round.
He did say that he might use the iPad toilet paper roll holder with him on stage so that he could have his lyrics right there and put his beer in the toilet paper holder. I’m going to consider this a win! And, if it actually happens, it will be a story for the years to come.