I arrived home yesterday afternoon to find that the City, in their infinite wisdom, had cut down the swathe of honeysuckle that was hiding the neighbors below us from us and us from them. As we live halfway up a hill, the bushes were a valuable part of making us feel like we were deep in the woods. And a valuable part of making me feel like no one was looking in the window of the bathroom. Not that I think anyone would want to. I mean, the bathroom is not where anyone looks their most glamorous so why I think anyone would be standing at the bottom on the hill looking into my bathroom window, I don’t know.
Husband says I’m crazy and that the angle of the view into the bathroom from the bottom of the hill would be all wrong anyway and all they’d see IF they could see in would be the top half of my head. I have made him stand out side on several occasions to check if he can see me. I have stood outside on several occasions to see if he was lying when he said he couldn’t see anything. And no, he wasn’t lying. You can’t see in during the day but at night - I keep forgetting to ask him to check at night. And I keep forgetting to ask him to check from the road above the neighbors below us. And yes, I know a curtain or blind would solve this whole silly argument but then I wouldn’t be able to look out the window and see Owl hunting or all the pretty birds getting breakfast on the bird feeders or chipmunks and squirrels claiming on the bird feeders and eating to their hearts content. Anyway, yesterday the City cut down the honeysuckle. Husband and I went down for a gander and found, while the City’s actions were somewhat logical - they were cutting the bushes below the electrical wires - they didn’t cut a single tree branch that was actually touching the electrical wires. Not one. And they left the honeysuckle in piles and plies along the path under the wires, almost like a threat to the other bushes. Don't grow here or else. The good news is that we can see what’s at the bottom of the creek that forms in our yard every time it rains. The good news is that we didn't find the bodies of Love Boat neighbors that Husband thinks are dead. The good news is that a monster didn’t’ come out of the cave at the bottom of said creek while we were looking. The really good news is that I, in my sandals, did not get a tick bite or a chigger bite or step on a snake. After surveying the mess, we went inside so I could grab dinner and while we were at the new kitchen sink, we spotted the neighbor below us standing in the pile of cut bushes and looking pissed. Okay, from where we stood, we couldn’t tell if she was pissed but she looked it. Husband went down to chat with her; mostly to reassure her it wasn’t us that did the cutting because, let’s be real, he had suspected it was them at first. They chatted while I made myself a sandwich. I watched as they pointed in this direction and that direction. Her husband came out and I watched him wander over to the cave. I watched the three of them talk and talk and talk. And when husband came inside I asked him how it went. HUSBAND: They were surprised too. ME: What are their names? HUSBAND: I don’t remember. ME: What do they do? HUSBAND: I don’t know. ME: Can they see into the bathroom? HUSBAND: I didn’t ask. Twenty minutes of conversation that he doesn’t remember and not a single useful piece to help me move forward in life. I’m off to shower now. I’m thinking I’ll just go ahead and put on a show for anyone who might be watching. That is if they are still watching after seeing Husband’s daily show where he cleans out his nose while standing in the window. That would be enough to scare anyone off looking… I hope.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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