When my mother forbid me from attending my brother’s 5th birthday party, I was upset. I was insulted. I was hurt. I decided she was the meanest mother in the world and I didn’t care that she said I couldn’t go. It was a party for Brother and I was his sister so why couldn’t I be there? So I marched myself down to say hello to the group - my chicken pox riddled body proudly on display.
That one act of defiance resulted in a raging Chicken Pox infection running through the entire party. This was long before Chicken Pox parties were in vogue so I really was cutting edge. Just five minutes of saying hello and shaking hands and hugging and Brother’s entire grade was down for the count. As soon as I was spotted, I was immediately banished but the damage had been done. Evicted, I spent the rest of the party with my best friend sitting in a car at the edge of a rally race waiting for the cars to pass us and comparing our spots. “I have one here. Do you?” And that is how a wash of a birthday party turning into one of my favorite childhood memories. That was when I was seven. And here I am later, so many damn years later, sitting by myself with no one to compare spots with. Only this time it’s not Chicken Pox. This time it’s a swarm of mosquito bites covering my entire body. I’m pretty sure that I have enough mosquito bites to play connect the dots and actually make a picture of something awesome. In fact, that might be a good game to play. A sort of kinky version of “I have one here. Do you?” but instead of it being sexy, Husband can scratch my bites every time he finds one. I’m pretty sure that that could be better than sex. Of course, it would be way sexier if Husband had a billion bites too but I can’t seem to tempt him outside to weed in the mosquito infested grasses with me. Which obviously means he doesn’t love me or my motley diseased body as much as I love him. So I win. If you want me, I’ve taken my prize of anti-itch cream and am sitting by my sad self in the corner to applying it alone. (Scratch. Sniff. Sniff. Scratch.) Nothing hurts worse than rejection and a mosquito bite scratched raw. Except perhaps, a million mosquito bites scratched raw and a total lack of sympathy from your spouse... Warning Husband: Payback is a bitch.
4 Comments
Q.D
8/3/2015 06:10:07 pm
Me, every summer! (I am allergic!)
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ej
8/3/2015 11:07:22 pm
Q.D. - that is NUTS! I just heard about this vitamin B1 patch - from a guy in the home improvement store that saw me scratching - that should repel the buggers that I'm going to try. Husband now thinks my bites are chiggers not mosquitos. Doesn't matter what they are, they freakin' itch!
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Q.D
8/5/2015 08:48:18 pm
My mother is insisting that taking Vitamin B tablets would stop the bites, I am not convinced, but your guy at the Home Improvement store said it too so maybe i should ;)
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ej
8/5/2015 10:25:28 pm
He said that he'd heard you can't take it orally to work, that it has to be a patch but that could just be good marketing on the patch people's end. I do know B12 got me through many a hangover so there's that...
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
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