This is a common pose at our house of late: Joe Boxer/Joseph climbing into Husband’s lap for a cuddle and Pepper the Wannabe Cat on a towel next to me. It’s quite funny how small he thinks he is. Joe, that is. Husband is fully aware of his size. Both Joe’s and his own.
I digress. We had movie night on Saturday. FIL (Father in Law), Husband and I were tucked into our respective couch corners. Pepper the Wannabe Cat crawled into my lap. Joseph climbed into/onto/around Husband’s lap like he was 50lbs lighter than he is. The movie was about halfway through when Husband suddenly shouted then hunted around for his iPhone for the flashlight. What he saw in the light of the flash was so traumatizing that I’m sure to be dealing with fallout for years. Not the literal fallout. I dealt with that right there and then because while he was snuggled up on Husband’s lap, Joseph was thoroughly relaxed. So relaxed that his anal sac released A STREAM OF BROWN GOO down husband’s leg, onto the edge of the couch cushion and onto the floor. And by ‘brown goo’ I mean shit. A STREAM OF SHIT DRIBBLED OUT OF JOE’S BUTT and onto Husband’s leg. Yup. My dear OCD Husband - who will not let us leave dishes in the sink in case he gets poop on his hands, goes to wash it off, drips poop on the dishes, rendering those dishes dead to him forever – well, his worst nightmare came to life. I could not stop laughing as he rushed himself to the bathroom to decontaminate himself with massive amounts of antibacterial soap. Because I’ve been telling him about Joseph’s anal sac issues for a while now and have been thoroughly ignored. And, not having the ability to drive, have been unable to do anything but shake my head as Husband went on his way. But now, NOW I think he'll listen. There’s nothing like a little smelly proof to win an argument. And yes, a vet visit is in Joseph's future. And a shrink in Husband's. I’m still laughing.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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