Last week, while I was still in California, Husband listened to a Podcast while he was painting the hallway with the author of this book; The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness by Prof. Steve Peters.
He has not stopped talking about it since. According to Prof. Steve, (and now Husband), we have three parts of our brain: The Human, the Chimp and the Computer. The Human part operates by thinking through all consequences before acting while the Chimp acts impulsively and uses totally emotional thinking. Either the Human or the Chimp programs the Computer and follows either agenda depending on how it is programmed. The bottom line is: when your Chimp and Human agree on what to do ‘no problem’, but disagree and Chimp wins as the most powerful and therefore ruler of thought and action. Apparently - and I’m paraphrasing what I heard Husband say - the reason everything I do is wrong and irritating and emotionally is because of my inner Chimp and I need to get my Chimp under control. Since I’ve been back, Husband is constantly telling me that my Chimp is the reason I did that or said this or ate whatever. My Chimp is why we ordered that damn fried ice cream at his Fifteen Years in America celebration dinner the other night when we were both already full. My Chimp is why I yelled at the dogs yesterday when Tigger The Dog wouldn’t get her nose out of the chipmunk hole and Pepper the Wannabe Cat got too close to the edge of the yard where I’m sure the Coywolf is lurking and Joe Boxer smeared his drooly face all over my butt. And that damn Chimp is why I’m having a hard time believing I can do what I want to do and what he thinks I can do and should do but I’m not doing. He brings that damn Chimp up in every single conversation. Every. Single. One. Which resulted in this, um… discussion yesterday that was, according to Mr. Expert, 100% Chimp driven. ME: I’m feeling fragile right now. I just want you to leave me alone. HUSBAND: That’s just your Chimp telling you to say that. You need to be in control of your Chimp. ME: Leave my Monkey out of this! HUSBAND: It’s not a Monkey. It’s a Chimp. That’s your Chimp getting angry. ME: My Chimp is a Monkey and my Monkey is telling you to shut up! HUSBAND: But if you let the Monkey’s anger control you – ME: My Monkey is getting very angry at your Monkey trying to fix me and wants your Monkey to get the fuck away from me and leave me alone. HUSBAND: (While attempting a hug) You’re in control of your Monkey. Tell it what to do. ME: AAAAH! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU CAN’T JUST LISTEN TO MY MONKEY? MY MONKEY NEEDS SOME TIME TO JUST DO WHAT IT’S DOING AND I TOLD YOU THAT AND YOU DIDN’T LISTEN AND THAT’S MAKING MY MONKEY SADDER AND STRESSED OUT AND MY MONKEY DOESN’T LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU WON’T LISTEN WHEN IT TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE SO LEAVE ME ALONE!!! HUSBAND: But… ME: My Monkey says to GO AWAY RIGHT NOW OR IT'S GOING TO START CRYING... Husband left me with the three dogs, my damn Monkey and Broken Ankle to sit on the couch with and finish our pity party. It’s good to be home.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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