Because I know you’re fascinated how I spent my time away from you, here is a quick rundown on my Thelma and Louise week away. Snarky comments included.
SUNDAY - Drove ELEVEN hours with Thelma to DC to see a friend I’ve known since she was eleven and I was twelve. Met her kids who were all a lot smaller last time I saw them. Freaked out over the fact that she has kids, let alone that they are all little versions of her and her husband, walking and talking and forming opinions and politely looking at pictures of Husband’s studio and pretending to be interested. Then the two of us ditched the family and had a lovely dinner out in DC where we gossiped about everyone we knew growing up, what they are doing wrong and how we would fix their lives if they’d let us. MONDAY – Took the littlest to preschool and then had a coffee and discussed our lives and what we are doing wrong and what we could do to fix our lives but won’t. Then we picked up the two older kids, grabbed the littlest from school, had lunch and went to the zoo. A zoo with a four year old, a nine year old and a twelve year old (who is trying to be fourteen) is pure joy. Even with artic winds threatening to blow us off our feet and the bigger animals hiding inside. Watching the four year old playing chase with a fox, the nine year old staring fascinated at the pile of elephant poo, the twelve year old thinking no one was watching playing chase with the same fox - all absolutely priceless. Watching my friend - who once played Snow White to my Wicked Queen – watching her mother these sweeties, just precious. TUESDAY – I was to meet my first boyfriend (!!!) in DC for a personal tour of the Capitol building but his wife was home suffering from pneumonia and he made the right choice to stay home and nurse her. That meant I got to spend the day wandering DC in the frigid 16-degree temperature taking frozen selfies and amusing myself. It was absolutely lovely. Home to Snow White’s house for a final meal with the family and then my friend took me to meet Thelma in Maryland for part two of the trip. WEDNESDAY – We set out for Philadelphia after an exquisite (sarcasm intended) breakfast of fats and salts and sugar at Cracker Barrel. Got a tattoo – more on that later this week – and then drove down into Allentown to meet Thelma’s family and friends for night of debauchery – well, minor debauchery. Well, two drinks and back to the hotel by 11pm but, when you get up at 5am, that is debauchery. Alcohol, exhaustion and tattoo blood loss is really like having had six drinks and some crack. Not that I’ve ever had crack. If you read this regularly, you know I’ve had six drinks and how that tends to go… ANYWAY - THURSDAY – After a delicious diner breakfast of more fats and salts and sugar, Thelma spent time with her mother while I sat in the waiting room and watched two of the staff dismantle their artificial Christmas tree. Total comedy; watching as they tried to put the tree into the box without taking it apart, them wondering why it wouldn’t fit, flipping it about and trying to put it in from the other direction, as if that would change things - all the while whispering gossip about their fellow staffers in a singsong tale of disgust. Very Lucy and Ethel and very amusing! Thelma and I then had lunch with her father. He and I commiserated over our back pain, each trying to out-do the other with tales of woe. He’s 87. He won. After lunch, Thelma and I took off to Philly to meet my half sibs for dinner. My father was prolific – there are seven of us from three mothers. My father’s father was even more productive – he had twenty children! Part of dinner was trying to figure out which uncle fell in what birth order, what in the heck piece of land was given to which first son and who is protesting the will and why – all the while enjoying the noise of sibling teasing and life updates. My little sister was nine the last time I saw her. Now she's a Model, one brother is a Cop and the other a Sergeant in the Army! Dinner done, and me even more confused by my family tree, Thelma and I drove back to Maryland and into a house where a lone louse had just been discovered on pretty blonde head of the five year old. Our phantom itching began. I had lice when I was in 6th grade when I had a massive floppy Afro. I had to sit naked in a tub for three hours while my mother combed the suckers out one by one. I have sworn ever since than if I were to get lice again, I would shave my head. It was a tense few hours but we thought we were likely clean and clear as we all suspected the infestation had occurred while we were in Philly. But those lice are tricky buggers because… FRIDAY – the five year old was sent home after the school nurse found more lurking on her head. Our scratching began in earnest. It’s not a party till we’ve all sat on the couch and had the others comb through our hair looking for intruders. And it’s really not a party until one or more of us are slathered in RID. It was one festive Friday night in Maryland! As it was, Thelma and I seemed to have escaped the infestation. It would have been a long scratchy trip back to Nashville had we not. Husband did not quarantine me when I got home and he would have had he thought I was bringing home friends. SATURDAY – We drove and drove and drove and drove back to Nashville. Eleven hours is a loooong drive, people. Lots of time for contemplation and self-analysis and random hypotheticals like “If Husband died, would I sell the studio and move to an exotic island?” Or, “If I won the Powerball, what would I buy first?” And eleven hours is a lot of time to ponder the major lesson learned during the week and see how I can apply it to my day to day life, how I can do all I can to embrace it. Because I just feel my life will be better because of it. And what is that lesson, you ask? Don’t share hats, people. Just don’t.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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