Since I started writing this blog, my mornings have been a very creative space – inside my head. I wake up and lie there, half asleep with thoughts and possible stories running through my mind. If I’ve been together it enough to start a post the night before, I think of how I might add to it or remind myself to check for errors.
In that creative sleepy state, I find myself sometimes drifting off into dreams that are combinations of stories I’ve heard and things I wish I’d said. Sometimes, I drop into a dream I’d had earlier in the night and try to rewrite the ending. Maybe this time I walked out instead of standing still. Maybe I said that brilliant thing as I walked out laughing leaving them, their mouths ajar, in awe of my cleverness and wit.
This morning, while drifting in and out of my fuzzy delusions, I ended up in a dream about auditioning.
If you’ve never auditioned for a play, outside of school, they can run from the traditional - just reading from the script in character. To the untraditional and down right weird – running about the room and pretending you’re a unicorn. In this dream, I had to audition to play a young Black woman who turned into a Mexican woman, who turned into a Greek woman who turned into a West Africa woman. All of these changes were to take place while walking around in a circle around the tiny blond girl who was obviously precast in the role of tiny blonde girl. While I was "acting," someone woman was using my iPad for research and when we were excused, she walked out with it, disappearing into the night, me just watching as the green cover vanished with her in the gloom as she turned the corner.
Understanding the multiracial part of the dream was easy, it obviously was totally rooted in my experiences yesterday. I was the only ethnic person in the grocery store we wandered about as we waited for the bar to open, hunting for the international section so Husband could get nostalgic over foods he’ll just buy and can’t cook. We spent way too much time looking through the various Mexican and Greek food offerings - hence my audition character choices. And the bar we ended up in was even less multicultural than the measly international food aisle. With my Kriss Kross braids, I was as different as I could be from the little blonde barely 21yr old girl that pranced around the bar doing cartwheels and pretending to be grown up enough to drink and smoke. And what a coincidence, she was just like the one who ended up in my dream as the lead during the audition.
The audition was like many I’ve been on for those ‘deep and meaningful’ plays that are to serve as commentary on our society. Where pretending you’re a unicorn or speaking with an accent for a character that the play doesn’t have one is just the director’s lame attempt to own his little universe by playing god (Oh, did I say that out loud?) And half the time not one thing you do in an audition is linked to a single moment that takes place in the play – or at least that stupid unicorn wasn’t.
Phew. I had a few feelings there. Sorry.
Anyway, in the dream, the iPad was just an iPad. Its theft an obvious worry as my life is currently tied up so tightly in its offerings. I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t know what was happening on the Internet at any given moment.
When I woke the second time, digesting and dissecting the dream, and trying to figure out what I’d write about today, this statement someone said last week came to me; Live theatre, live music is a conversation between the audience and between the performer. Make sure to be present in that conversation.
My inside brain wanderings are my conversation with you all. Sometimes it is one-sided and sometimes, what we read, what I say is might be more than words on a page or a screen, might touch you more that a stupid statement about unicorns.
This is not that post.
This post is like one of those weird theatre performance art pieces that you don’t understand but you nod and smile like you do.
But maybe sometime, down the road, there will be a post that becomes part of your day; your conscience and you have to share the conversation with your world. Until then, hold on tight to your iPad and keep an eye out for unicorns. They talk funny.
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me