I was going to take the rest of September to Un Fu*k My Life. I had a list of all the things that have been on my ‘I should…’ list for ages. I made a point of clearing the schedule so that my ability to succeed would be uncluttered by real life. And yet, I got only one and a half things done on the list; I took the car in for an oil filter change and I went to the dentist about my wonky tooth.
And that dang car is where things went tits up. Because, when I got out of the car at the service area and handed the dude my key, he looked at my car history and recommended “strongly” that I get my 20,000-mile check up. And they always “strongly recommend” things like that in a way that implies if you don’t do it, pieces of your vehicle might fall off while you’re driving and kill you or others around you. So, sucker that I am, I reluctantly agreed that the 20,000-mile check up would be a good idea and that I’d do it if they could give me a loaner car for the day. But they couldn’t give me a car because I’d only scheduled an oil change and, despite the fact that my Smart has a Mercedes engine and I was at a Mercedes dealer and there were plenty of Mercedes loaners, they only give like cars with like wallets and there were no Smart loaners on offer so I was out of luck so we had to reschedule the whole stupid thing and off I went. That makes it no oil change and an upcoming check-up that will cost more than $500 but I’m counting that as half done because I actually made it to the car place despite nothing getting done.
The dentist was equally unsatisfying but at least there I feel like I made some progress. My tooth pain is apparently not from anything they could find on the x-ray they took of “number four or number five” – that is the some progress part - but I was giving a syringe to squirt water at the gums and some sticky paste to coat the teeth with each night. Since going the dentist is such drama to deal with, I am counting this as a win despite the fact that I'm still in pain. So I can’t chew on that side of my face. My goal to lose weight might actual come to pass.
And that little productive nothing is where the list stopped being something I would accomplish in two weeks and became a list of crap still taunting me.
What happened, you ask? Well, I got knocked down by a vomit inducing migraine and that, was the end of anything slightly productive. Three days on the couch dying and two days walking around pretending I wasn’t moaning and dizzy and pukey and the list and my “get ‘er done” attitude was a thing of the past. Nothing got done. We were down to crumbs and whatever was frozen in the freezer for food. Large piles of dog hair were rolling around the house on their own because they knew the vacuum wasn’t coming for them. Husband didn’t even bother asking me how I was doing because the whimper coming out of my face was constant. It was pitiful.
And then suddenly it was October and I had officially failed at finishing my UFML list by the end of September. Or had I? Because October started mid-week, if I squinted my eyes and pretended, I told myself this week still counted as September. There was still hope. I could still win at life…
And then I got a head cold. One of those drippy nose, burning eyes, throat on fire head colds. And the last thing I wanted to do was go to a bra shop and stand in front of a lady in my all togethers and have her fit me for a bra. Oooh, wait - that sounds like I’d enjoy getting a bra fitting if I wasn’t sick. Let me be clear, I NEVER want to go to a bra shop and stand in front of a lady in my all togethers and have her fit me for a bra BUT, with a head cold and some really awesome hot flashes that seem to be attacking me on a regular basis, I really REALLY don’t want to do it. And I think I can be safe in saying that I’m sure the last thing the sales lady wants is a sniveling mess of a woman standing in front of her with her jiggly bits on display.
And now it is Friday and the week is over and September is officially done. Heck, the DIY stores have their Christmas decorations up, trees lite up and weird blow-up animals in Christmas colors dancing on the shelves. I have to come to terms with the fact that my UFML list is a fail. I’m just going to move everything back over to the ‘Things I should do at some point’ list.
Let’s be honest, I am more comfortable with them over there. It’s a more acceptable form of pressure for me. “I should…” is my happy space. So what if I can’t see because my eyeglass prescription is out of date and I’m reduced to wearing sports bras that make my boobs into one solid shelf of boob. Without my glasses on, I can’t see how hideous I look and with them on everything is blurry. It’s a win win situation.
Now off I go to ignore a bunch of things I should do but wont. Life is good when you squint away the icky stuff.
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me