One of the things I loved when Husband sent me pictures of the house he was planning to buy for us in Nashville was the tree fort. It was old and mossy and rotten looking and full of secrets and it would likely not hold the weight of a child let alone the weight of a fully-grown woman with a French fry addiction but it was awesome. And as we waited for the house to close escrow, I dreamt about how I was going to plant around it and grow vines up the rickety legs and dangle hanging baskets from its rungs and make it into a Martha Stewart wonder...
None of those things happened. In the growing months, the fort was fully shaded and nothing but weeds wanted to grow at the base of the tree as it swarmed with mosquitos at all times. In the winter, the winds would whip about the rungs of the ladder and chill whatever might have been growing into a frozen stem. And not once did it resemble anything Martha would have had a hand in. And yet, when Husband threatened to take it out, I would plead for him to leave it be. I mean, the baby owls used it as a home base for hunting and my planting dreams really might have happened... someday... So he did, for a while. Partly because he was occupied with inside house things and mostly because taking it down required climbing into the thing and fighting off creatures that crawl and fly and bite. Then a friend came by and told us that if we ever wanted to get rid of it, he was looking for wood to make his kids a guard tower fort in his yard. Which is why this past weekend, poor Husband had to deal with two things he hates: heights and bugs as he climbed into the fort and battled the rusted nails and screws and the MASSIVE colony of GIANT ants and their BAZILLION ANT BABY EGGS to take the sucker apart. At one point, we had enough eggs come out of a hole to fill small cooking pot – if ant eggs happened to be your thing. A surprising quick three hours of work and the tree fort was down, my Martha Steward dreams were thoroughly dead and, despite all the insects and very pissed off ants, we ended up with only a few mosquito bites, one ant bite and a tick just south of Husband’s um, area. All in all, a job well done that has sadly just revealed another project to pretend to get to next. That yard is a mess.... Ain't home ownership fun.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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