If you read this regularly or know Husband, you’ll know he says some really brilliant things sometimes. And sometimes, he says things that are not brilliant but are so dang funny; I can’t catch my breath for laughing. And almost every time, I grab my phone and make a note about his little gem of wisdom for follow up later. Like, for example last week when I was having a particularly bad hair day and all my little twists were sticking out in every direction but the one I wanted and I said, “I'm going to shave and all off. I look ridiculous” and Husband responded “You shave it all off and your head will look really fat.”
Or when we were discussing a mutual friend who is a hot mess of neediness and I said, “Dude, I'm pretty easy going…” and he replied, “Nah, you're crazy as hell.” Good times. See, I remembered what happened there even though the bare bones of the conversation were written down. But more often than not, I forget to write what the context was that Husband dropped his wonderful piece of insight or insult disguised as honesty and I end up with a note that says - It's like living with a hooker; eventually you're going to have to sleep with her Now that makes absolutely no sense. What in the world were we talking about that could lead to a statement like that? And apparently I should be worried if we ever have a hooker come to stay! Yesterday, I found myself with some time to kill and no interesting people to watch so I went through my notes on the phone and the following are few Husband’s little bits of joy I found that I do not understand. And I have no clue when they were said or why they were said at all. I can't even button my shirt. It's more of a cape. In fact I think I'm just going to start wearing cape Dudes drink Sherry I can’t always be right. Me, by myself, I can conquer the world. At least that's what my mum told me. Isn't that the greatest melted cheese ever? It's like laying down in a comfy bed for your tongue Say you have a dog that can only go left, well, don't go right. And finally, this one: Tom Cruise would play the cantaloupe. I know he’s taken to telling me what famous movie star will start in the long boring stories I share with him but cantaloupe? Not a clue what I was talking about that made him say that. And, looking these over, I’m not sure if I’m losing it or if Husband was never really sane to begin with. Well, something to ponder as I go about my day waiting for the next bit of wonder to fall from his lips. Good thing I’m easily amused.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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