This is my worst nightmare.
Okay maybe not worst – I’m sure I could come up with something that would be worse, especially at 3am – but hugging is really not my favorite thing.
Unless you’re a toddler or a baby and then hugging is awesome and all of the things the picture says. But hugging grownups - with all my hang-ups and their hang-ups and judgments and touching and stuff... Not. My. Thing.
I get it from Mom. The first time I ever saw her hug Uncle was when Grandmother died. And let me tell you, I thought the world had ended. So awkward! Last year, she tried to shake my hand at the airport when I dropped her off after a two-week visit. And I l almost let her! Yeah, we're a pair, perfectly able to communicate in language that doesn't mean touching each other.
AND WAIT, I just thought of a thing that is worse – CUDDLE PARTIES! Where you are led by a Cuddle Facilitator who will guide you through what is NOW my worst nightmare. My neighbor in California thought I would enjoy them. Actually, I think he said I "needed them" to "get over myself" but the dude had pot smoking drum circles and a different lady licking his feet every night so I couldn't take him seriously.
Not to mention I couldn't stop manically laughing once he described what went on at one. Um, you want me to get into my PJ's and spend the evening hugging on people I've just met? Me, who Husband hugs in the middle of me yelling at me to shut me up. Yeah, that'll happen NEVER!!!
My skin is crawling just thinking about it. And my breathing is coming short. And a sweat is breaking out on my brow. Quick, say something sarcastic and antisocial to stop this trauma...
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me