It’s very likely that I was screaming so loudly that all the seats around us cleared and the ten year old girl a few seats over called me silly and then screamed along with me.
When the woman hosting the event assured us that the fireman currently undressing on stage wouldn’t bite, I may have just yelled “BUT I WANT HIM TO BITE ME!” so loudly that the women in the seat one aisle over from me burst out laughing.
It’s very possible that I laughed so very hard at the ‘grandma’ sitting primly with her legs crossed at the ankles and hands resting her lap as she tried to keep her face from smiling and foot from tapping when the fireman with 52 years of service started to take off his pants. And that I hid my head in my hands when the three large women put their hands in an inappropriate place on the naked man's chest. And giggled endlessly when the naked man sat on the much older woman's lap while her friend took what is likely going to be her Christmas picture.
I went to the Southern Woman’s Show thinking I’d see lots of jewelry and clothes and get an idea or two to write about later. I was expecting that I’d spend the day with a good friend and chat about marriage and love and art and life. That we’d drink pretty drinks and eat yummy food and just enjoy being out. Not once did I think the day would end with us sitting in the convention center under the bright florescent lights watching very good looking firemen taking off pieces of clothing for charity. And screaming and laughing and taking pictures and just generally having a blast while men - in far better shape than I have ever been - accepted dollar bills in their shorts and their boots and their hats.
Good day! Won three dollars! Was told I looked like I was related to Robin Roberts. Bought a great grill pan that’s sure to be fantastic when I finally have a stove to cook on. Got a wonderful massage pillow that might postpone my visit to the back doctor. Had fantastic conversations with my friend that went off in every possible direction and covered every possible topic. And saw lots and lots of naked-ish men. A good, nay a GREAT day with a hysterical naked ending. Top that Friday!