Had my annual gynecologist exam yesterday. Always a hoot to have someone poking about in my nether regions while making small talk about the weather. At least this time the doctor got my jokes. Well, most of them. After she examined me – again, always a joy – she told me that my cervix looked like it was “still suspended nicely” and to let her know if that changed. “You’ll be the first to know after Facebook.” I said. She didn’t think I was joking. After a quick meeting with a friend where my mocha was definitely NOT decaf, I went to Costco with Husband. Husband is funny - inappropriate and rude but funny. Husband is even funnier when I’m on caffeine – especially the inappropriate stuff. This is what he said we should get instead of my going to the gynecologist next year. “It’s only $50,” he said. And then, when I was telling him the Doctor told me to do Kegels so my cervix didn’t fall out – though she used way more technical language like, “They will help to strengthen your pelvic floor” – Husband said that the possibility of my cervix falling out was all the more reason to put things in it. The look on the woman’s face next to us = priceless. Then last night, I spent waaaay too much time looking at prolapses on the Internet. Did you know that a wrestler’s butt prolapsed while he was lifting? Like his insides popped outside his butt THROUGH his leotard. Like I could not look away. Needless to say, the combo of caffeine and the Internet did not result in the most restful of sleeps. I am, however, up to date on all the horrible things that can pop out of your body while lifting weights. Or pooping. Or sneezing. Yup, doing my Kegels right now. “And contract and relax, and contract and relax…”
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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