I spent the last few days unwrapping boxes filled with kitchen items we haven’t seen since the fall of 2012. I wrapped things really well so it was a bit like Christmas opening them all up. And then I spent far too long trying to figure out where to put things so that they would be useful when cooking actually starts to happen in the house. And here is when I ran into a few problems -
When you design a kitchen, especially when you haven’t actually used a kitchen to cook in for a year, you think about the big things – like where the fridge should go and how high you want the counter tops. And sometimes you think about the every day things like where the tea and the teacups should go and what side is best for the dishwasher. But you seldom think about the little things like – where the stupid potato masher is going to go and where should you put the little round doohickey that makes your egg into a egg McMuffin shape that Husband only really used that one summer but now needs a space to live.
Because if you had thought about the potato masher while you were designing the kitchen, perhaps the first drawer, the one next to the stove where the mashing would be happening, would be deep enough to hold the masher without slamming into the top and etching the top of the drawer front. (Shhhh don’t tell Husband. I’m planning on blaming the dog.) And the round doohickey really should be easy to find should I want to make my eggs round someday. That someday when the cooktop actually works and isn’t just a very pretty shiny thing on top of the counter not connected to gas or electricity or vented through the non-existent cupboard that should live above it.
And you don't think the fact that, when it comes to putting all the various tools of the trade into the pretty new gleaming drawers, that not one of the cutlery holder things – and we have ten randomly sized cutlery holder things - not one of those ten will fit your pretty new shiny drawers. It’s like the Three Bears over here - this one is too big. That one is too small. This one won’t hold a thing larger than a teaspoon. That one won’t hold the stupid potato masher… You get the idea.
And why do they only give you two shelves in the cupboard that is specifically for glasses and plates. The cupboard that is tall enough for three shelves only has two. Now who cares if I can’t really reach past a possible third shelf? That’s what stepladders are for. Shelves are for putting all your plates and glasses on – not just the ones that will fit on the two shelves that came with the cupboard. I won’t even bring up the extra two boxes of plates I found that we don’t use but Husband doesn’t want to say goodbye to.
And what in the heck were we thinking would go into the three large drawers on the peninsula? They are too big to count as cutlery drawers and too small to hold the blender. If I had a child and no crib, it would be a perfect sleeping place but what the heck else should go in there? A cat or a small dog? Right now, it’s holding eight of the ten cutlery holder things and the door panels for the dishwasher. Not a great use of space but I did just realize that we still got kitchen boxes in the basement with random kitchen items waiting to be rediscovered. Items I forgot I had, like the stupid McMuffin thing. I’m sure to find something to fill the drawer that is less wiggly than a baby and less furry than a cat. I hope.
And finally, let us discuss the Lazy Susan. As excited as I was about it’s installation into our kitchen, it is really not a practical use of space. There are chunks of the cabinet where I could stash something IF the stupid Susan thing in the middle didn’t ever turn. Because when it does turn – and I still think that part is cool - it knocks all the things in the corner so using it as a storage space won’t work. Of course, with nothing in the corners and appliances in the middle, it actually looks quite pretty and display(ish), like in one of those house magazines. We shall see how long that lasts!
Oooh, come to think of it, that useless corner might be a great place to hide stash my Heath Bars and potato chips from Husband…
Now, I'm off to unpack more boxes. Okay, really just to sit here at the counter and drink more tea and pretend I'm upset that I can't cook in the house yet while looking at useless things on the internet to fill my brain space and stalking the Owls in the tree outside... Happiness!