I have this friend, Bobby - not his real name. Honestly, he’d probably not mind me using his real name but I’m going to call him Bobby for now. Anyway, Bobby has had everything possible go wrong in his life and with his body and he still manages to face the world with a smile. Not only a smile, Bobby spends his time working actively to make others laugh, most of the time at the expense of his body and always at the expense of everyone’s core decency. He was once voted third worst comic in a showcase and wore that title as a badge of honor.
Bobby’s life has been filled with so many WTF moments that everyone kept telling Bobby to write them down. Last year, Bobby finally did. Three times a week, while hooked up to his dialysis machine, he’d type out his life stories. They were often filled with misspellings and typos - he was typing them out with one hand - but they were, they are the most fascinating factoids I’ve read. Almost every story results in me shaking my head, mouth ajar and stuttering out the words, “No way. No f-ing way.”
Bobby has had, in no particular order – mostly because I have no idea what order they should be in – a hip replacement, a kidney replacement, a second kidney replacement, a dozen broken bones, a gallbladder removed, weekly dialysis, a body piercing, was hit by a car putting him in a full body cast, a self circumcision, and more, many many more. Last year, he was hospitalized at least five times for five different surgeries.
And his upbringing has been equally exciting. Bobby has been abandoned, adopted, fostered, lost his blood mother to suicide, called child services himself when his grandparent was no longer able to care for him, adopted and has now been married for a million years.
I’m sure I’ve got this information wrong because it's hard to process it all. Just one of these things would shatter me. Just one single thing that has happened to him, physically or emotionally, would bring me to my knees. Just one single event would make me question why bother going on, and yet he does. Usually with a smile and a horribly inappropriate joke that’ll make you cringe while laughing.
Friday, Bobby posted that he’d almost lost his life. He was in the hospital for repair of a fracture, a possible hip replacement and the removal and diagnosis of a mass. They’d discovered all these issues because Bobby couldn’t get up and walk after sitting in a rehearsal. His post as they got ready to wheel him down the hallway ended with “A new day, a new scar….” Apparently his body didn’t handle the pain meds and he almost “…became a thing of dust.”
Bobby is a pain in the ass. A funny, annoying, infuriating pain in the ass. But life would be incredibly boring without Bobby in it. Here is hoping he makes it through and that this hospital visits is just another fact to add to his book. Here is hoping that one day, Bobby’s book gets made into a movie and Hollywood actors are fighting to play the part of Bobby. Here is hoping that movie wins an Oscar and Bobby gets to get up in front of a microphone and give a speech because that is an awards show I’d like to watch.
Get well Bobby. I’m not done riding the roller-coaster that is your life.
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me