This morning I woke up at 6am and, with my eyes half open, I shuffled myself into my warm pjs, grabbed my puffy jacket and boots, and let the dogs out of their crates. With a bit of coxing, I ushered the nutters down the stairs to the backdoor and had them sit while I put a leash on Tigger the Dog and shoved a jam jar in my pocket. I then spent a minute trying to calm them all down, telling them we weren’t going on a walk as I opened the door and hurried everyone outside – where they stopped, waiting for their leashes. Told them all again that seriously, a walk was not happening and tried to move forward. They didn’t believe me and they whined, whimpered, barked and begged for their leashes. I promised them I wasn’t lying and, trying not to trip over any of them, walked TTD and the other idiots over to the morning pee area. Telling them again, too loudly for 6am, that we were totally not walking, I encouraged them all to “Do the toilet. Come on, have a pee.” They didn’t believe me. I encouraged them louder. I’m sure the neighbors love me. Then, while the others went off to do their thing, totally pissed at me, I followed TTD around, holding the leash in one hand and the jam jar in the other as she sniffed the ground, looking for that perfect spot to do her business. When she finally found a spot that met with her liking, she crouched and I awkwardly shoved that jar under her rear mid-stream in an attempt to catch her ‘first morning urine’ for the vet.
She was not impressed. My aim was not accurate. Neither was hers. It was not pretty. Two minutes later, the jam jar in one warm, sticky, stinky hand, I unleashed her, let her and the other two idiots into the house, gave them all treats and then took my ‘winnings’ upstairs to disinfect myself. As I write this, there is a warm jam jar of pee sitting on many paper towels on my kitchen counter and I am having a deep Zen moment of awareness. I could look at this rocky awakening as a horrible mess of a start to my day; covered in pee at dark o‘clock in 24deegree weather, with two very disappointed dogs and third who I’ve just violated. Or I could look at it as beginning my day with a win; with one thing on my long list of musts for the day – the most unpleasant thing – checked off my list before 6:15am. How I choose to see this start affects the whole day – mine, Husband’s, the dogs, everyone I encounter... Who knew a morning pee would bring such an awakening. Who wants to guess how the day is going to go for everyone around me? Am I going to be an Eeyore or an Winnie the Peeoh?
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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