It's hard to sleep with all this feeling going on.

My dreams of late have been particularly vivid.  Like movie clear in story, plot and continuity.  Last night’s dream was so intense, so passionate I woke up weeping.  The short version; a train crashed taking the life of a dear friend, Nina, who had just found the love of her life.  In my real life, she is no one I really know.  In my real life, she is an actress I saw on a sitcom.  But in this dream, we were all close friends, spent time together, watched her fall in love and plan her life with her new love and then get on that train and that was it.

My twisted dream brain then turned to making ladybug houses out of old chimney flues in her memory.  I woke up with a plan and a profound sadness for Nina, the woman in my dreams I don’t really know. 

After dreams like that, I spend far too much time trying to figure out what my subconscious is trying to tell me.  What I’ve missed or might miss in my life, in my relationships.  This dream can’t just be telling me that I need to build a ladybug house.  The story has to mean more than that but what, I don’t know. I’m sure to be discombobulated until I figure it out.  Or until I think I’ve figured it out. In the meantime, stay off trains, my friends.  And if you must ride one, please kiss your Nina goodbye passionately.  Life is unpredictable and messy and you never know when you’ll spend your day weeping over a ladybug house.

On a possibly related note, we saw a band from Scotland last night called The Dirty Beggars who are currently on a tour of the United States called Born in the Wrong Country Tour.  Always random to run into a Scotsman in Nashville but five of them made Husband a happy man.  They are a Bluegrass Americana band made up of at least two doctors and a lawyer.  I didn’t get what the other two did.  As the lead guy told me, they are at a crossroads right now; quit the band and proceed about their lives doctoring and lawyering or chuck it all and do the band thing full time.  Their tour seem to be getting good feedback and their credits in the United Kingdom seem impressive but when do you take that leap of faith and follow your dream and when do you stay put and make babies?  And with five guys, how do you make that decision without someone grumbling and feeling shafted?

I’m interested to see what they choose to do. 

And I’m sure that their choice had nothing to do with Nina and my ladybug houses.  

Well, almost sure.