Since Amazon became my major purchase site, I’ve also had some issues with things not being exactly right – though never hamburger bun earmuffs wrong. In fact, the best gift I ever got from Amazon was a total mistake. Just not theirs.
I had just gotten married and, while I was changing my name on my license and social security card, I went ahead and changed my name on my Amazon Wish List to ej OldLastName NewLastName.
But I forgot to tell my family that I was no longer ej OldLastName. So, when Brother went looking for my Wish List, he found the Wish List for EJ NewLastName. And that EJ had this awesome bag on her list. So he bought it for me and Amazon shipped it out.
(NOTE: ej and EJ are different spellings in my mind. Brother knows how I spell ej and should have known that EJ wasn't ej... Just saying. )
Christmas morning, he called me up -
BROTHER: Do you love it? Do you love it???
ME: It’s fantastic! Thank you!
BROTHER: Was it what you’ve always wanted? (Giggle giggle snort.)
ME: Yeah... what?
BROTHER: I'm joking. It was on your Wish List.
ME: No, it wasn’t
Lots of back and forth and we finally figured out that he’d bought me a bag from EJ NewLastName’s Wish List.
I tried to do the right thing and contact Amazon to let them know that EJ NewLastName wasn’t getting her bag for Christmas and that they should probably put it back on the list.
Amazon said couldn’t help me. Amazon said they couldn’t give me any personal information.
ME: I don’t want her info. I just want you to put the bag back on their wish list.
AMAZON PERSON WHO COULD CARE LESS: I’m sorry. I can’t help you, Mrs. OldLastName NewLastName.
ME: But this poor EJ NewLastName is checking their Wish List and seeing that the bag was purchased and is checking the mail daily for her package and is going to be sorely disappointed that I’m walking around with her bag.
AMAZON PERSON WHO COULD CARE LESS: Would you like to return the bag?
ME: NO! I love it. I'm keeping it. I just don’t want EJ NewLastName not to have the opportunity to love it too.
AMAZON PERSON WHO COULD CARE LESS: I’m sorry Mrs. OldLastName NewLastName. I’m unable to share any personal information with you.
I hung up before the conversation made me love the bag less.
It’s been eight years. I’m still using the bag. And Poor EJ NewLastName never knew what happened. I'm only slightly sorry about that because it is the most awesome bag ever.
In fact, every so often, I troll her Wish List to see if she’s got something else I might like.
That’s not too creepy stalker, is it?