Husband had the stomach flu last week and all of our conversations became bowel related. I’d like to say that this is a rare thing but it’s not. His conversations with me – or rather his declarations to me are usually bowel related. I love him.
Anyway, yesterday morning, Husband asked me a question about the color of poop. More specifically, he asked what he might have been eating that would affect the color of his output. (Don’t worry. I don’t have pictures.)
I told him all I knew was that if it was black, there was probably blood in the stool but past that little gem of info, I didn’t have a clue.
“I wonder if there is an app for that?” We said at the same time.
Well folks, you'll be happy to know, I’ve looked and there is an app for that! It’s called the Poo Log and it’s $0.99 it, and it has, and I quote: a digital timer and journal for recording and studying the wondrous uniqueness of each bowel movement…. It is the top choice app for discerning Poo-ers everywhere…. This digital Poo Log makes every trip to the can an e-loo-cidating experience.
Yup. Want a digital log for tracking your poo? That exists.
Now, I can barely get my food intake entered to my Lose It app, odds are entries to one about my poop would suffer the same fate. And what are you supposed to do with the info once you have it? Share it? With whom? I realize there’s a Facebook page but what the heck?! Husband’s sharing his output with me has put me off many a thing. Should I subject others to the same fate? I’m still bothering people with pictures of my womb - which I totally think kind of resembles a heart - I sure can’t imagine adding info about my bowel movements to any topic of conversation. I’m sure to lose what friends I have over that one.
I also found an app called Places I’ve Pooped. It’s pretty self-explanatory; in that it helps you track all the places you’ve pooped in the world. Just in case that is how you'd like to keep track of the places you’ve been, by taking note of where you've pooped. It is free should you be interested. And a twelve year old boy.
And I found an app called Run Pee for $0.99. Run Pee is to help you with your movie theatre experience. It gives you advice about when is the most optimum time for you make a break for the bathroom during the movie so you don't miss anything plot important or blow 'em exciting. This would be very useful for a friend of mine who has her own internal map of where of every bathroom in her town is. She should totally parlay that into her own app. There seems to be money in bowel moments.
And then, while hunting through Google for answers, I got sidetracked by the bizarre wonder that is IVoodoo app. An app that will let you stab/curse five dolls at the same time? Five dolls that you can name and a face to, complete with a picture as you stab/curse them? Who needs that? Well, and I quote again: In today’s society it can be difficult to whip up a voodoo doll and stick it full of pins. Which is a pity because in our modern lives there are a lot of reasons to do just that.
Wow. So creepy and practical. I really could have used this a few years back. OH! Maybe the evil one had a digital doll of me and was sticking virtual pins in it the whole time. That would explain a whole lot about what went down and all those weird pains I was having… it's a thought.
Anyway, who'd a thunk that a snarky comment of Husband's would lead me down path of this post? Who'd a thunk that if you want to know anything about your poo, you'd be able to find an app for that on the Internet? Not I. But now I know and I've shared my wealth of information with you.
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me