If you’ve been reading my blurts, you’ll know that we’ve been referring to the next-door neighbors as the Dead Neighbors for the last two years. They used to be The Love Boat Neighbors because of the rope lights that line their roofline and make it look like the house is floating at night. But, because we haven’t seen them since May of 2013, Husband declared them dead and theorized that the handyman had killed them and buried them in the backyard. I still don’t understand the logic of killing them and then coming by to get their mail daily but not living in their house but Husband was sure that “the Handyman done it.”
Then we found out a month ago that one of the neighbors had actually died in March and our amusing theory wasn’t as hilarious as it had been. Not to mention that Husband was totally wrong about Handyman, and he wouldn’t admit it. Anyway, for the last few weeks, there has been a lot more activity next door. We suspect that Dead Neighbor’s wife will be selling and they’re getting the house ready to show to developers who will knock it down and make our lives miserable for a year while they build a cookie-cutter mansion no one wants to live in - Ooops, is my opinion showing? Let me tuck that back in… Anyway, the two cars that have sat outside for two years have been serviced and cleaned. The drive has been power washed, the pool cleaned, and the over grown brush cleared. And then yesterday, someone over there had a brush burn going. We could see the plume of smoke but it smelled like more than just wood or brush gathered from the garden was on fire. I checked to make sure it wasn’t the house but whatever was burning was contained to a small area in their side yard. Perhaps they were burning painted wood, I guessed. Nope, Husband surmised, someone over there was burning porn. Yup, you read that right. Husband thinks that Dead Neighbor’s porn buddy heard about the house sale and came over yesterday to destroy the evidence. By burning it in the side yard. For hours. That's a lot of porn. I really worry about what is going on in Husband’s head. I worry more that I entertain his delusions of crazy.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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