Really. THE BEST EMAIL EVER!!!! A new friend and I were trying to set up a coffee date. We had several emails back and forth about time and place and then I got this one - Yup. She called me Ejaculation. I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed... Then, hours later, I got this email - Her autocorrect changed my name from ej to Ejaculation and she was horrified. Me, not so much. I'd just thought I'd told her the story of the guy who tried to pick me up in a bar by asking me if ej stood for Ejaculate Joyfully.
It doesn’t. But years and years ago, when the toothless drunk guy in the bar asked me what ej stood for and I wouldn’t tell him, he came up with Ejaculate Joyfully. And then laughed his toothless face off. I turned to my friends for help getting rid of him but they were useless because they were laughing their stupid heads off. I had no choice but to join in and laugh too. I mean a guy; a old toothless drunk guy had just tried to pick my cute twenty-one year old self up by implying that my parents had a twisted and totally inappropriate sense of humor. Can you imagine going through customs with that on your passport? Or getting pulled over by the cops? Or having a background check to work with children? Or going home with someone with no teeth who thought that was your name??? To this day, any time anyone asks what ej stands for, that’s the first thing that crosses my mind. I don’t say it. Most people are not toothless drunk guys in bars or twelve-year-old boys or me and won’t find it funny. And I’d have to explain. And funny isn’t funny when you have to explain. Except maybe here if you were trying to explain Ejaculate Joyfully to one of the white haired southern ladies who already look at me with confusion then the situation would be hysterical… But most of the time, not funny anywhere but in my head. And my in friend's most awesomely autocorrected email. It's the little things people.
2 Comments
Elizabeth Van Iersel
8/20/2014 12:26:07 am
At wotk last year while on a professional call with our travel department. She said "Thank You Ms. Vanerial"....I SAID OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT YOU SAID?!?!
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ej
8/20/2014 02:57:12 am
Elizabeth - that is hysterical!!!
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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