I was put on timeout today by a three-year old. Twice.
The first time, I asked him if he could please pull up his undies and his eyes got wide. “Did I just use a word I shouldn’t?” I asked him, knowing full well that the word that was actually off limits was 'panties' but in order to argue my point with him, I'd have to use the word and would get in trouble anyway. He nodded, grave face. “What do I do now?” I asked. “Go into the timeout corner.” He told me, pointing at the corner near the bathroom. So I put myself in the corner. Two hours later, I made the same mistake. “Please pull up your undies. Ooop. I mean underwear.” I said after his tenth trip to the bathroom. But my correction was too late. And this time his brother was a witness to my forbidden word usage. They both laughed at me as I apologized but pointed at the corner anyway. “How long do I have to stay there?” I asked, my face to the wall. One brother said two minutes, one said five minutes, so I set my time for three minutes and continued to face the wall as they snickered manically behind me. Then, before my handy timer went off releasing me from the corner shame, I was informed by the older one, totally mimicking his grownup’s voice, “Now we have to talk to your mommy.” “We do?” I said. “Why do we have to talk to my mommy?” “Because you gots on timeout!” they said, logic peppering their outraged three-year-old voices. So we called my mother. Because apparently when you are in timeout, you have to get a talking to by your mother. I was totally relieved that the answer machine picked up. The only thing worse than being put in time out by a three-year old is being put on timeout by your mother.
2 Comments
Q.D
8/21/2015 05:41:38 pm
As a proud Aussie, what on earth is wrong with the word Undies?
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ej
8/22/2015 02:20:55 am
The 'bad' word they can't say is panties and it's just one of those words that drives their mom nuts. I said 'undies' but couldn't argue that it wasn't a 'bad' word without saying that the word their mom hates is 'panties' which would have ended with me in the corner anyway so I just went. And it taught them that even grownups get timeout which was helpful - or so I'm telling myself.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
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