This is what remains of my Terry’s Dark Chocolate Orange Ball.
Yes, it sounds dirty but it’s not. A Terry’s Dark Chocolate Orange Ball is a ball of dark chocolate infused with orange – okay, I made that last part up. It’s an orange flavored ball of dark chocolate that is in segments like an orange. You whack it and eat the segments sections one at a time. Little morsels of chocolate orange deliciousness that satisfy, just one segment at a time...
But all that remains of my Terry’s Dark Chocolate Orange Ball is the wrapper and some chocolate crumbs at the bottom of a crumpled Ziploc bag.
The Dark Chocolate Orange Ball that Husband told me he had been "eating some of” but didn’t mention that he’d eaten the whole thing and put the almost empty bag back in the candy drawer in the fridge. The Dark Chocolate Orange that he said he didn’t like because it contained two things he didn’t like; dark chocolate and orange flavored chocolate. The Dark Chocolate Orange he ate because he didn’t have any of “his” chocolate around to eat. Which is a bold faced lie because he just bought 26 boxes of chocolate cream eggs but those, he says, are suppose to last him all year. And I’d buy him whatever other kind of chocolate he’d like to eat but then he complains that I’m bringing “that poison in to the house.” and stomps about cursing me and my attempts to undermine his heathy eating plan.
I can’t win for losing.
And I definitely can’t eat piece of Dark Chocolate Orange because that’s all gone.
And, you know how you say something enough, it loses power or sounds weird or just play wrong and dirty? Now I can’t say Dark Chocolate Orange Ball without getting the giggles. Because, apparently, I'm petty and I'm as mature as a twelve year old boy.
But this is what happens when you’re married or living with someone. You get all excited to eat a piece of your Dark Chocolate Orange Ball and you find nothing but unsatisfying crumbs in a Ziploc bag tucked behind a billion stupid chocolate cream eggs that you can’t eat because it would “throw off the system” and wouldn’t eat anyway because they’re gross. The empty bag situation would never happen if I were living alone. Unless I’d been drinking too much, lamenting my living alone status and forgotten I’d eaten my Dark Chocolate Orange in a drunken haze of midnight munching. And if that were the case, I’d deserve the disappointment.
Also, I find it a bit weird that both Husband and I are coveting chocolate that’s masquerading as a food item. I would like to take this time to point out that mine is pretending to be a fruit and Husband’s just is a weird egg shaped thing with goo in it that supposed to have come out of a bunny? No wonder he’s stealing mine.
Sad ej. Now, what will I have for breakfast...?
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me