I dropped a pile of baseboards onto my ring finger at work a month ago. I actually didn’t drop them. They fell onto me. Husband would point out that my saying “I dropped them” is assuming blame like I always do. Apparently, to him, I always assume the role and responsibility of the victim.
Anyway, three particleboard baseboards fell on my ring finger. Hard. I was smart enough to get my wedding ring off - after the cussing and before it puffed up and prevented removal. The swelling was pretty impressive. I had a bump size of a three-month paycheck (Silicon Valley paycheck size, not Wal-Mart size) engagement ring. Funny thing, had I had a ring like that, my finger would almost certainly be broken. In fact, I never had an engagement ring. Husband never officially proposed. One night he just asked, and I kid you not -
HUSBAND: IF I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?
And I, swept away by the pure romance of his proposal said –
And then we just talked logistics for the next two months. We ended up running off to Vegas and getting married in a drive thru where we paid $25 to get married by this guy-
One quick ceremony later and we were wearing the rings Husband and I picked out online. They cost $99, are airplane grade titanium and probably saved my finger - to get back to my story.
Now, here I am, a month out from the ‘accident’ and I still can’t wear my ring. I’ve taken to wearing it around my neck instead, on the same chain as my grandfathers 19945 HQ baseball wining charm. It’s fricking freezing outside – and inside our insulation challenged house - meaning my neck is usually covered in a scarf. Meaning, most folks can’t see my wedding ring on a chain around my neck and think I’m not married anymore. I had a very uncomfortable conversation at the doctor’s office last week where they kept asking me if I was married and then glancing at my ring finger and giving me a sad knowing look. And last night, the waitress looked at my finger, and decided Husband and I were doing the husband/mistress thing. And then she tried to hit on him. Awkward.
So, as Brother would say, to make a long story boring – I’m thinking of getting a tattoo on my ring finger to let the world know I’m married to Husband. I’ve been looking at possible tats on the web and there are lots of options. Interestingly enough, I didn’t find a single picture of a tattoo that said Mrs. or Wife, which I find funny. I guess I could go with our wedding date or an actual ring design like these below.
I found these here on this site - have a scroll through them should you be interested in adding a statement ring to yourself. So many options! I think they work best if the husband has one too. Husband’s response to my suggestion that we get matching tattoos –
HUSBAND: Not a chance in hell.
So this might be the way I go -
Just kidding. That’s a total no! I mean ouch! I'm a wimp as it is and can't wear my current ring because it hurts. Can you imagine the damage I'd do to myself with one of those?
Although, it would be a diamond.... I'm kidding. I never wanted a diamond. I wonder if they could do it in an emerald or onyx or turquoise... Seriously kidding. I am just imagining the wounds I'd have when I caught this in my hair or banged it on a door or dropped three particleboard baseboards on my finger at work. I just couldn't not make that look pretty for long.
Anyway, until the bump on my poor ring finger heals, I’m stuck writing Mrs. on my finger in permanent marker – which, by the way, is not permanent on skin. It blurs after a day. So now folks think I’m not married, I'm having an affair with Husband AND I have a skin condition. A lovely statement on marriage...
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me