He’s keeping the What’s Your Poo Telling You book. As he should! Maybe he’ll look in the book instead of asking me.
A few folk asked me what we were doing for our anniversary and seemed disappointed that we didn’t have grand plans. By that I mean, plans grander than going out to our favorite steak place dressed the way we always do.
Early on in our marriage, I might have been disappointed too but, married life is what you make of it, not what others – and in particular Hollywood and Hallmark – think you should make of it. For us, dressing up in fancy clothes and fancy shoes would have made us uncomfortable and itchy. And uncomfortable and itchy would have led to a fight about something or with someone. And who wants that nonsense on any night out, especially a night meant to celebrate your commitment to each other.
Our wedding was in a drive-thru in Vegas. We choose the twenty-five dollars wedding option because it we had met on online for twenty-five dollars and we liked the continuity. And we’re both cheap. The ‘married on the bridge of the Star Trek Enterprise would have been a funny, funny story – especially since I’m not a fan but the four thousand was too expensive for a “I got married by a Ferengi.” joke. (And sadly, it's not even an option anymore.)
Instead, we got married at A Special Memory Wedding Chapel. We got married in our car, wearing old jeans and new shirts and fancy shoes that we didn’t have to walk in.
We laughed through most of the ceremony that held by the heavily mustachioed man who leaned out the drive-thru window and made us feel like family. The man, who put two speakers outside the window, told me every bride needed a wedding march, pushed play and then waited until I stopped giggling to begin. We have a brilliant wedding video of us in the car watching the tripod to make sure no one wanders off with it but trying to look like we’re not. A video that ends with us driving forward, our witness leaning out of the window to check we were gone, pulling the speakers back in and slamming the window shut.
And, after we gathered up the camera and tripod, we drove off down the street and found a McDonalds to celebrate our union. A McDonalds that happened to have a mailman eating his lunch that gladly took my carefully crafted wedding announcements and posted them for us after wishing us luck. After a big mac meal and a round robin of weepy phone calls to friends and family, we went off to Hoover Dam.
Once I gave a friend advice of what to say to her husband when they were fighting. His response: I’m not taking advice from a woman whose wedding included the saying “Do you want fries with that!” After I stopped laughing, I told them I give good advice despite my drive-thru wedding. Married life is what you make of it, not what others think you should make of it. If a book about poo works for your relationship, gift away. Just be clear to ask for the diamond sparkly ring if that’s what you want. Or in Husband’s case, the full studio set up in the basement. The full studio he will be getting in pieces for the next few anniversaries and birthdays and arbor days. So, bye-bye iPad toilet paper holder thing and hello plug that costs $$ and I have no clue what it does. Husband wants you so welcome to our home.