We all have those friends that seem to have all the answers. Not answers like, “You should…” and “If it were me I’d…” but answers that come out of what you’re saying and head you off in the right direction. They listen to you and don’t try to fix the problem for you (Mom, Husband...) but lead to you the answer of how you might make the issue less annoying or important or right.
And they know when to just listen to you babble on about that boy or that boss or that bitch and nod with understanding and just let you vent. And vent. And vent. And when you’re done venting, they calmly talk you off the ledge and onto a more rational path. My friend Nancy is that person, that voice of reason.
We met 16 years ago as actors in a show that had a somewhat chaotic start and just wound up to absolutely crazy from there. Even with the crazy, it was good time. But the kind of good time where we spent more than a few evenings in rehearsals looking at each other across the room, something resembling panic in our eyes, screaming silently, “Can you believe that just happened?” You know, the kind of good time that has you in giggles, despite one cast member almost breaking his neck and another going through the motions of becoming a major alcoholic. That kind of good time.
Last night I combed the Internet for photo evidence of the crazy. The fact that these are out of focus and the faces are blurry is a perfect representation of the experience.
Nancy and I have had a similar personal history too - men done wrong. I know we sadly all have those type of stories but Nancy and I had the men done so wrong we both could be on Oprah discussing the trauma as she passes us tissues and asks us how we’re stronger because of it. Men done seriously wrong. Instead of Oprah, we spent a lot of time drinking wine and her fabulous home made guacamole discussing the indignities of dating and how men – those done wrong men in particular – were broken.
And we both have a family history that would rival any of the ‘families’ in any Jerry Springer episode. We have spent countless hours talking about our upbringings and crazy relatives and what they’ve done and said and continue to do. And we’ve talked about writing and how to write about the life we’ve had without upsetting those people in it. And when to just ignore what those people might be saying or doing and just write. (Don't worry Mom, Husband and Brother. I'm not writing about you. Yet.)
Anyway, Nancy has been my life coach for 16 years, in a very unofficial capacity. Heck, she has been many people’s life coach; she’s just that calm and knowing of person. Last summer we had a lunch that led me to writing this blog and her to get formal training in coaching and now she has the official title of Life Coach.
The good news for me, Nancy is still my unofficial life coach despite her new title. I can still call her and chat and she can clear my head of the crap and let me see what it is that is really getting my knickers in a twist. Last month during a chat with her the three months of serious mad and hate and gloom I was feeling for all things my life was put in perspective with one 15-minute conversation with her. Heck, she did it with one simple sentence. And thank goodness she did because Husband was getting ready to sheetrock me into the walls.
The good news for you is I’m willing to share Nancy and her voice of reason. If you’re interested, here is the link to her practice Nancy Sauder Coaching. And for you life coach skeptics (Mom, Husband…) she offers a 30-minute complementary session. Worth a try for a little bit of reason in your life.
My name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me