Things I’ve said in the last few weeks: “Joe! Put your penis away! "Tigger! Gentle!” Tigger! Joe! Wrestle in the office.” “Joe, fix your ear.” “Tigger! Leave Pepper alone.” “Joe! Leave Pepper alone.” “Joe! Calm down.” “Pepper, don’t growl at me!” “Joe! Stop licking your balls.” “Joe! Seriously! Put your penis away. “ “Tigger! Stop humping Joe!” “Pepper! Stop humping Joe’s face.” And I’ve said these things more than once. In a day. Heck, I’ve said all of these more than once in a five-minute period! A friend of Husband’s came over to meet Pepper and Joe yesterday and asked us who does all the work. I was more than a bit snippy when I shouted over Husband’s attempt answer, “I do all the work and he just throws the f***ing ball!” I put myself down for a nap. It was necessary. While I was on timeout, Husband got these pictures of Mean Girl Tigger the Dog and Little Pepper snuggling and suddenly all of the above was worth it. Okay, not really “worth it” but the pictures – and the nap - made all the, “Joe, put your penis away.” And “Tigger! Gentle with Peppers face!” and "Holy crap, Joe! Quit farting!" just a bit better. I promise one day I’ll write about something else other than dog farts and licking of balls.
Wait; promise me that one day there will be something else other than dog farts and licking of balls…? Yeah. Putting myself back on timeout.
4 Comments
Q.D
2/23/2016 03:11:31 am
This is why i teach high school, i only use SOME of these sentences every day :D
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ej
2/23/2016 01:25:56 pm
I have actually used "Put your penis away." to a seven year old while directing him in a show once... Not boring!
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Q.D
2/23/2016 03:16:16 am
Also, Pepper looks like a whole new dog! Congratulations
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ej
2/23/2016 01:24:56 pm
I forgot to mention that Pepper has gained a pound and half and Joe is up ELEVEN pounds!!! Parts are free to come off now according to the vet!
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
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