A little known fact about me is that I shave my head when things get out of control. Yup. Who needs meds? I actually try and shave my head every two weeks but if my life is suddenly like a three ring circus, I will pull that shaver out and take back a little bit of imaginary control.
Like now, life in our household is very much like a circus. Wait, not really a circus, more like a high school hallway all day long. Tigger the Dog is the mean girl, bulling Little Pepper for the cute boy, i.e. Husband’s attention. Meanwhile, dumb cute freshman Joe, is totally oblivious to them; he just wants to talk food and what he can do to get the coach’s – also Husband - approval. And Little Pepper, who is losing a bit of her self-esteem mojo every day but still manages to come back at Mean Girl TTD with a literal snappy comeback when needed, shutting her down. If high school movies are anything to go by, we’ve got another semester of this before they bond over some big school trick or they get one over on the Principal i.e. me, or they both dump the cute boy and become Best Friends Forever. It is exhausting. So I shaved my head. Now my current hair ‘style’ is just my sides and back shaved with the top afro-ing itself silly. Most times I twist the top bit into little ringlets – well, little ringlets on day one and dreads every after until I comb it out and start over again. But my hair is also not happy with life right now and needed a break from twisting so I’ve just left it large and only slightly contained from going all over the place in a modified pony poof. Keep in mind that there is so much poof right now, it’s almost like my head has another hairy head on top, seriously poufy. That is how it was ‘styled’ as I was standing in the bathroom, taking back control of my life one hair at a time, a second pony poof hair head on the top of my head. I shave the sides, the back near the base of my neck and I slowdown the process to try and give myself a somewhat even line around the base of the poof. This is delicate work made worse by the fact that I can’t wear my glasses so I can’t see so who the hell knows what it looks like back there. Anyway, I shave around the poof as best I can then slide the razor down for a last pass at the base of my neck, lift the shaver off my neck, bring it over my head – AND SHAVE A CHUNK OF POOF RIGHT OFF THE TOP! Seriously, a large chuck of Afro buzzes right off the top and falls into the sink in front off me as I stand there, stunned and stupid, shaver still buzzing in my hand. The irony of the situation hits me and I start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. Fuzzy hairball in the sink, razor in my hand, hole in my poof, high school circus right outside the bathroom door – how could I not? I’m totally that girl from Sixteen Candles minus the Anthony Michael Hall make-out session at the end. Now, I know this isn’t tragic. I have an Afro; no one can tell I’m missing a chunk of it but me - and I’d just be guessing. And the shave served its purpose; I am feeling slightly more in control despite the hole in my head. No real harm, no real foul… And yet - Mean Girl TTD is so gonna make fun of me…
1 Comment
Jana
2/3/2016 01:33:46 pm
Once again I am so entertained!
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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