I wrote this before the doctor’s visit and forgot to post. And then I had the doctor’s visit and she hugged me and I can’t get past the trauma to edit this so here you go – a post about the future that is now the past…
Today is my annual physical. Otherwise known as the day I say something embarrassing to the doctor that makes us both uncomfortable. Also, I did my blood work last week so we could discuss it at the physical so my doctor is going to be yelling me at today for my not good very bad results. I’m blaming my father. It’s because of his genetics I’m predisposed to high cholesterol and all the lovely side effects. Damn him. He’s fully responsible for about 80% of that problem. I’m totally blaming him for the other 20% of my results too. Because he was such a shit of a dad, I have to eat my feelings about him in French fry form on an almost hourly basis. The doc is going to tell me to eat better and exercise more which will bring up all sorts of promises on my end that I’ll break in two weeks with a binge on cookies and potato chips and ice cream while crying on the couch about my inability to move. And, of course, then there’s this dilemma; a month ago Brother sent me a text to listen to a podcast about Hydrox cookies. I LOVE Hydrox cookies! They are SOOOOOO much better than Oreos and not just because the middle is pure sugar and no animal fat. Because when we first came to America, we lived with our grandmother who would sooth our daily brushes with racism with a Hydrox cookie that she’d stashed in the best little cookie jar ever. Hydrox cookies combined with Grandma love made everything all better. Then the Keebler elves bought Hydrox, put it on a shelf somewhere in the back of the warehouse never to be found and a happy part of my childhood was gone. But now, because of some dude with nostalgia issues like mine, Hydrox is back! My box of feelings in cookie form was delivered yesterday. And I am now torn – do I eat them now, before the yelling or after, when it will be blatant ignoring of the rules. Perhaps I can bring that up when she’s writing down all the things I should probably mention. Like my possible heart attack three months ago, my weekly dip in the pool of depression, my menopause journey and all the joys and sweat and roller coaster mood swings that seem to have come along with it, my weird aches and pains and bruises and general WebMD curiosities... Maybe she won’t notice the Hydrox thing in the whirlwind of issues I’m throwing at her. Maybe it will all be okay. But it wasn't. She hugged me. The horror. I'll have to add hugging to the list of things to freakout about at next years visit.
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AuthorMy name is ej. I'm a girl. I say that because with the short hair and the short initials, folks aren't always sure. More brilliant insights to who I am in About me Archives
April 2019
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